How Setting Boundaries Can Help You Thrive at Home and In Your Career

Boundaries are defined as “a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line”. In essence, boundaries show where one thing ends and another begins.

Boundaries are guidelines and limits that let other people know how to behave around you. Setting boundaries at work and home are necessary. Often times however, setting boundaries are hard for women because:

·       Of our need to please others.

·       Perception-we worry about how others will view us; perhaps as being needy or bitchy.

·       Not knowing what our boundaries are.

·       The discomfort associated with communicating our boundaries.

If you’ve identified with one of the statements above, don’t fret. There are ways in which you can identify when a boundary needs to be set. To help you combat this situation, I’ve developed a mini-framework that identifies 4 pertinent questions you can ask yourself before deciding to set a boundary.

Boundary Question: Is it Aligned with My Core Values?

Core values are those things that are most important to you. If you’re faced with a situation where something doesn’t agree or align with who you are as an individual, perhaps you need to establish a boundary.

Boundary Question: Does this Excite Me or Scare Me?

This one is often linked to fear of missing out (FOMO) on something than the actual notion of doing something scary. No one should be doing anything that incites fear into their hearts! The thought of missing any kind of opportunity for growth, fun, or recognition that leads to a feel-good result can sometimes cause us to over commit to things and experiences just for the ultimate sake of not being left out. Operating in this extreme can lead to constant chaos and little time to be more selective and intentional in your activities and how they relate to your long-term goals.

Boundary Question: Will it Move Me Towards a Life I Love?

So much of our identities as women are tied up in how others view us. Society has ingrained in us that we are to be selfless; to the detriment of our mental health.

So naturally, we find ourselves in situations that brings happiness and fulfillment to everyone but ourselves. This is especially true in motherhood. We are constantly saying yes to things that we really want to say no to but the guilt overrides us!

Boundary Question: Will it Provide Me More Time and Energy?

The work of nurturing and tending to people’s emotional needs is often expected and demanded of women. We are required to hold space for everyone when they need it. This form of invisible labor can quickly lead to mental exhaustion and burnout.

If I answer “no” to any of these questions, I realize that a boundary needs to be set. You figure out what ratio works best for you. In general, setting boundaries are not about other people. They are about you as an individual. Boundaries when aligned with your core values, allow you to thrive. They help define those things that are important to you both at work and at home. Boundaries gives you the confidence to say no and cut those things out of life that no longer serve you. Setting boundaries means knowing your breaking point and staying away from it. Setting boundaries will ultimately reduce stress in your life.